When is a Big Toe, NOT a Big Toe? That is the Question.
The Story of 'J's' Big Toe. (Not her real name!!)
Big toes are funny things. Normally they are on the inside edge of the row of toes on your feet.
Not "J's" Well, not exactly.
As a bunch of friends relaxed over a liquid refreshment of the vino variety, one friend put her feet up....or should I say...her TOES up!
There, pointing to the sky like an obelisk were 'those' toes.
Not the stumpy fat big toe that we all expect...but...the one next to it.
Most of us have 2 big toes, but , well, in 'J's' case...its more like four 'Podiatric pencils.'
There, before our very eyes were the toes that would be the envy of every piano player. The toes that every professional angler would just love to have. A toe which arrives 2 minutes earlier than the rest of them, anywhere 'J' goes.
Here are two toes which would be the envy of every goal umpire. Imagine the goal umpire leaping into the air with every goal and pointing those two Podiatry Pointers at the crowd! A whole new era of goal umpiring beckons.
A new art in pointing the finger...has just become 'Pointing the Podiatry Pinky'. "Excuse me, but where is the local Hotel, s'il vous plais?" "Voila, ici!" comes the reply, with a two-toe goal scoring salute, indicating the way!
My Top Ten Uses for an errant Big Toe (or two) !
10.Scratch behind your ear....whilst driving. without taking your hands off the wheel.
9. Flick through the street directory...or operate the Sat Nav
8. Be the perfect 'High-wire" act and never fall off.
7. Become a Professional Ballet Dancer with the perfect 3 hour pirouette!
6. Go fishing in a Huckleberry Finn style...whilst still lying in bed.
5. Read the Yellow Pages twice as fast as anyone else...letting your Fingers...and Toes... do the walking!
4. Never allow a dike to flood again in Holland!
3. Telephone your friends on an old analogue dial phone...whilst doing the dishes.
2. Send it out first and you'll always be on time for any appointment.
1. Champagne stopper. Never waste a drop of Bubbly again!
( No offense intended...I promise to toe the line from here on..... even though at a disadvantage)
Ned Hoskin
www.wedbyned.com.au
Big toes are funny things. Normally they are on the inside edge of the row of toes on your feet.
Not "J's" Well, not exactly.
As a bunch of friends relaxed over a liquid refreshment of the vino variety, one friend put her feet up....or should I say...her TOES up!
There, pointing to the sky like an obelisk were 'those' toes.
Not the stumpy fat big toe that we all expect...but...the one next to it.
Most of us have 2 big toes, but , well, in 'J's' case...its more like four 'Podiatric pencils.'
There, before our very eyes were the toes that would be the envy of every piano player. The toes that every professional angler would just love to have. A toe which arrives 2 minutes earlier than the rest of them, anywhere 'J' goes.
Here are two toes which would be the envy of every goal umpire. Imagine the goal umpire leaping into the air with every goal and pointing those two Podiatry Pointers at the crowd! A whole new era of goal umpiring beckons.
A new art in pointing the finger...has just become 'Pointing the Podiatry Pinky'. "Excuse me, but where is the local Hotel, s'il vous plais?" "Voila, ici!" comes the reply, with a two-toe goal scoring salute, indicating the way!
My Top Ten Uses for an errant Big Toe (or two) !
10.Scratch behind your ear....whilst driving. without taking your hands off the wheel.
9. Flick through the street directory...or operate the Sat Nav
8. Be the perfect 'High-wire" act and never fall off.
7. Become a Professional Ballet Dancer with the perfect 3 hour pirouette!
6. Go fishing in a Huckleberry Finn style...whilst still lying in bed.
5. Read the Yellow Pages twice as fast as anyone else...letting your Fingers...and Toes... do the walking!
4. Never allow a dike to flood again in Holland!
3. Telephone your friends on an old analogue dial phone...whilst doing the dishes.
2. Send it out first and you'll always be on time for any appointment.
1. Champagne stopper. Never waste a drop of Bubbly again!
( No offense intended...I promise to toe the line from here on..... even though at a disadvantage)
Ned Hoskin
www.wedbyned.com.au
'The Many Ponderings & Predilections of Ned from Indented Head' is on Amazon Books:
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