The Tram Sandwich

The Tram Sandwich I don’t often travel on a tram in Melbourne but on this day I was headed to St Kilda and decided to catch the 89. As it clattered its way toward my stop, I was feeling almost dizzy, overwhelmed by the exotic sights and sounds of Melbourne, the multicultural colours and sounds of the people in their array of international attire surrounding me at every turn. I climbed on board and quickly decided upon a seat near the front. Sitting down pensively I exchanged glances with the young couple sitting opposite. They seemed to be looking into me, wondering. I gave them a tiny smile before glancing down at my travelling companion, sitting on the seat beside me. ‘I wonder where he is going’ I stated out loud to the couple, tilting my head toward the companion on my right. They both burst into a rage of laughter, because, sitting squarely and neatly beside me on the seat was a perfectly wrapped sandwich, cut into quarters. ‘Do you think we should share it?’ I asked and


DOOR KNOBS,  REMOVABLE EYEBALLS & LOCKDOWN.     Last Wednesday a door knob came off of a cupboard in the laundry. Quite exiting really, during lockdown that’s kind of fun!   So I got new handles for 4 cupboards and installed them, professionally I might add. Then of course I had to paint the doors, because they are painted timber and the new handles caused new holes etc etc.   Then I had to paint the rest of the laundry, to match. But the laundry joins to the kitchen, I did the door frame…which meant I had to do the kitchen too. Of course the kitchen is joined to the lounge room, so that is also now nearly finished too, final coat to go on today.    Of course the lounge links to both the bedroom down the other end and the dining room, where ‘She’ has taken up residence for about 12 hours per day, since ‘She’ is now working from home.    So today I will start the bedroom…in the next few days I will have to paint ‘Her’ and the dining room too.    Along the way I broke the blind in th

What I Remember of 2017 ( Whenever that was )

Where did 2000 and seventeen go? What really happened I would like to know. Xmas went , the New Year began, Cant remember if it was with a bang. I think summer was hot, or did it pass by, Was it real long, or was it just dry? Should keep a diary but what is the point, The reading will probably only disappoint. Did Trump really say his button is bigger? Waiting by day with his finger on the trigger. I remember turning on the morning news, Each day wondering if he had blown a fuse. Wondering if the North was bombing the south Cos of Trump and his impertinent mouth And wondering how much, the rich did for the poor, In this unbalanced world , the rich always need more I wonder if Religion will ever come to see why, It is religion that forms barriers that cause people to die. Why is that rhetoric forms a God-ranting shield Believe in me or I'll force you to yield. And Brexit is causing such an outrageous flack Getting out of the Union with no turning back, And

Nude Twister, Lies and Ghosts.

Yesterday I had the good fortune to undertake my annual OPD ( On-going Professional Development) at The Gordon Institute in Geelong. This is a requirement for maintaining a licence to work as an Authorised Celebrant. I chose to partake in a 3 hour Elective on Ethics which turned out to be far more entertaing than one might imagine. The discussions covered all kinds of issues pertaining to modern day dilemmas faced by Marriage Celebrants, some issues which one would rarely encounter but are none the less important to know about. As a part of one excercise we were all required to make 3 statements about ourselves, 2 of which were to be true and one which is a lie. The object of the excercise is to see if we could lie convincingly to the group, who have to try to tell which of the 3 statements is a lie. Sadly, most of us passed that test with flying colours, the group mainly finding it difficult to pick up which statement was the lie. I wish we had more time to think about th

ON LIFE, BLOGGING & DEATH.The 100th Blog of Said By Ned

Once again I have procrastinated somewhat over the content of my one hundredth blog. I wanted to make sure it was something special. So it was good timing that my sister sent to me some DVD’s, which are copies of Super 8 films taken by a long lost uncle in the 1950’s. He was a wealthy farmer and had not only Super 8 movies but also colour film in his camera. He was decades ahead of the rest of us.   So, we sat watching these dvd’s one night recently, mesmerised by my sister’s perpetual dancing with hoola hoops, with years between acts, still dancing and swirling the errant hoops around her arms in various locations until they invariably skittled off into the distance with her in pursuit and the camera left rolling, aimed at a fence or a wall or yet another garden full of flowers. Although sometimes, the flowers are black and white. And there are my brothers. The eldest at four or five sporting the same frown he still characteristically wears 57 years later, lo