Showing posts from January, 2012

Newspaper Article on How to Have Fun Getting Married

Oh, dont you just hate it when you wait 40 years for a media appearance and the Photograph which they use makes you look at least 50 years older than you really are. None the less, I am VERY appreciative of a new article which appeared in the local Geelong  Advertiser today. Next time, I will insist on a photo taken in the dark. The first photo is as per the article to the right, referring to my Wed by Ned Marriage Celebrant book titled 'How to Have Fun Getting Married'. ( The article and THE photo. The second photo ( below)  is how I see myself in the Newspaper photo. How I see the Photo in the newspaper article and then of course, the third photo, how I see myself usually. ..with airbrishing, make-up, Photoshop etc.......... How I thought I looked in real life!?  Oh well, my self esteem may be dented but I hope people planning a wedding ceremony might enjoy the E-book!  Cheers, Ned Hoskin www.w

One Foot First : A Short Story.

I am experimenting with some short stories which I will eventually publish I guess! This happens to be one which I wrote in a work-shop recently.  Not so much about marriage, as divorce though!  One Foot First. By Ned Hoskin . Ange felt the chill of the wind that whisked down the street, whip at her face as soon as she shut the door firmly behind her. She strode onto the street purposefully, although the nerves were working silently at her stomach making her feel heady and nauseous. The Courthouse Building on Main Boulevard in Belfast loomed gray and forboding and only made her stomach tighten more at its imposing sight as she neared. Today would be the end of the past 15 years of hell, a hell which she knew she had helped to create. “ Let me buy you a coffee” . The voice came smoothly enough from no-where and yet it made her heart jump and her hands immediately damp. Looking around she saw his gorgeous brown eyes and dark curly hair framed so naturally in t

Lies and Japanese Whaling

I am sick and tired of hearing, on a daily basis, that the Japanese are totally flouting International Laws, by entering Australian waters and murdering whales under the pretence of 'research'. I won't call it 'fishing', because the use of a harpoon is barbaric, as is the practise of whaling itself,  when there are so many species under threat. The Japanese have constantly ignored the International community in favour of their own self-centred, greed. It is about time they have a taste of their own pathetic, out dated, illegal, immoral, irresponsible practises. Send them home. Stand up to them. Ban them. Ban the Japanese Ambassador to Australia, until they  listen to the rest of the world. 'Goodie, my favourite! Sushi !!' THE JAPANESE WHALING SONG ( Sung to the tune of The Whaling Song ) ( Since they cut my advertising on here I decided I should moderate this song. Therefore the word w............ has been deleted because it rhymes with '

Let Fluffy off the Chain

Well, thank heavens Christmas is over...but once again I have been a bit busy to write much. However, I did just come across this little gem, which I wrote many years ago, as the result of a discussion with my 'then' teenage daughter. We were discussing a persistent tummy pain which she had complained about for several days. I think I had the answer.  LET FLUFFY OFF THE CHAIN. WHEN EVER YOUR TUMMY FEELS A PAIN, REMEMBER TO LET FLUFFY OFF THE CHAIN, CAUSE IF THE PAIN DOES NOT DEPART, IT MAY WELL JUST TAKE, A SIMPLE FART. SHARP PAIN OR DULL, FLUFFY’S TELLING YOU, YOUR INSIDES ARE READY FOR THE LOO,. WIND IN THE WILLOWS IS QUITE A BLOW, BUT WIND IN THE PILLOWS IS REALLY LOW, SO IF A BED YOU DO SHARE, LET FLUFFY OUT IN THE COOL NIGHT AIR. AS THE CONSEQUENCE MAY BE QUITE DIRE, IF YOU LET FLUFFY OUT AFTER YOU RETIRE! WHO WANTS A BED WHERE FLUFFY GOES, WAITING TO CLIMB RIGHT UP YOUR NOSE, GET OUT FLUFFY YOU NAUGHTY THING, AND JUMP WHEN I TELL YOU, THROUGH THIS