Bob The Builder, Wanging Ducks on the Head and...."So, You Want to Build a Duckery!"

It was 3am  this morning when Ms Ned and I engaged in a discussion re our days' activities (see Blog titled Playing Hide and Sleep for more details) I advised her that I happen to have run into Bob the Builder and his lovely wife, (whom we will call Mrs Bob for the sake of the exercise),  during the day.

Bob the Builder: (Not my neighbour of course)

We happen to live across the road from Bob the Builder, not the cartoony type character of course, but the real deal, a Builder called Bob.  Mrs Bob will always go down in history with us for having offered to wang our Ducks on the head when they get sick. Diametrically opposed to Mrs Bob's natural remedy for ducks, Ms Ned has always insisted that a sick duck goes to the vet for any ailment, at great expense, to receive a dose of Valium or Xanax or any other required drug for illnesses both physical and psychological. 

Ned : TV Ned, not me.
I am sure there must be thousands of Bob the Builders around the globe and at 3.a.m.  strange things happen in one's head. Ms. SaidbyNed suddenly began laughing uncontrollably  at the thought of our Duckery which yours truly had knocked up in about an hour using left over materials scavenged from anywhere handy. It seems that Ms. Ned has always been somewhat  amused at our Leaning Tower of Duckery and the thought of Bob the Builder ever seeing it has somewhat terrified her. Bob the Builder of course has a beautifully constructed Chookery which is both visually and structurally sound.
The fact that our Duckery is standing at all after 3 years is somewhat of a miracle itself, although the fortunate truth is that a tree happens to have fortuitously grown within the confines of the construction helping stabilise it!

The other fact is that Bob the Builder has indeed seen the said construction and I suspect Bob has probably modified his own building code somewhat to fall inline with the Ned type Duckery construction practices, which are of course simpler and cheaper.  My own construction expertise has always been based on the principle of keep building until it all somehow holds itself together. Which in our case has also been assisted by the chicken wire wrapped around the said structure to keep out the foxes which also to date, it has miraculously done. Being of the Artistic nature, it has often occurred to me to use the said chicken wire as a base for a huge paper mache artwork Duckery, along the lines of a Gaudi style.
Bob the Builders' Chookery.
I decided at 3.30am to put together a little pictorial tour of the said people and places just mentioned, to help out line the comical events apparently unfolding in Ms Neds' head.

The Chookery photographed here is of course The Taj Mahal , not Bob's Chookery, but this is the way that Ms Ned obviously see's it.

And of course, below, is the way she see's The Duckery, which I regret to say , is probably how Bob the Builder  and his Duck wanging Wife see it as well. Actually, it does have a lot of similarities.

Not the Real Duckery but Similar.

You may wonder why I am writing so fervently about the the Duckery. Well, I have decided to share my wisdom and profound knowledge in the Art of Duck House building with the long awaited release...maybe in the distant future....... of a new E-book....

So, You Want to Build a Duckery....

Of course, I may have to enlist Bob the Builder's help with the construction phase. Although if we follow my own construction techniques, maybe Mrs Bob won't be required to come over to Wang any ducks on the head anymore. 

The Duck House itself may well take care of that!

Ned Hoskin


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