On Leprechauns and Man Bags.

I have good friends Lou and Jan who live nearby on a great property with their entrepreneurial son Jack. Interestingly Lou & Jack have asked me to write them a story including leprechauns and Man bags. I assume this request came about because of the night that I saw a number of Leprechauns up at their property. I think it was also the same night that I saw Martians alighting from space ships, a 3 eyed tiger and rats wearing bricks on their backs, walking with a bad limp. Elvis was there that night too, or was that another night when incredibly some rabbits somehow spontaneously combusted and ran up the neighbours’ vacant land setting fire to it…which incredibly is what the fireman’s’ report said.

 I was going to insert a picture of Jan here, showing her laughing deliriously on the night; however, I can’t find one so here is a picture of Philippe the cockatiel instead. Philippe is a wonderful bird although he does have a persistent habit of wolf whistling at girls. I often wonder what would happen if one of those ladies did ever decide to take Philippe up on his offer.

But I digress. Although the rats with bricks did emanate from that night when their friend Kerry described a Scientific study (of which she read, and did not partake) into the benefits of taking lots of Vitamin B. In the apparent tests, bricks were dropped on rats from about 1mt. Rats taking more Vitamin B had a better survival rate than rats that didn’t. This is based on the assumption that rats can just walk into a Pharmacy at any time and buy Vitamin B supplements over the counter. Otherwise they will just have to be more careful and avoid people wielding bricks.

I still digress. The Leprechauns there that night were indeed wearing Man-bags due to their well documented habit of in fact carrying 2 leather bags at any time, each containing a silver coin. Originally called leprechaun-bags, the name never caught on, until leprechauns started to grow taller, into Men as we know them today.

The trouble is that whilst Leprechauns have grown up, Men have kept the rather curious habit of wearing Man-bags, walking with a little wiggle and talking a bit mincey, if I may put it that way.

In the meantime, the Leprechauns that didn’t grow up are carrying their two Man-bags around, with a brick in one bag and a rat in the other. At Parties up at Lou & Jan’s, they have fun demonstrating the theory about Vitamin B and its virtues. ….with a Cockatiel called Phillipe sitting on one shoulder wolf-whistling every 15 seconds.

Regrettably, Leprechauns are known to be not the most sober lot, so when they drink too much they have a tendency to get their Muddles all Worded up. But then again, so does Phillippe when he imbibes in the odd tipple. And his wolf-whistling becomes a little over the top, particularly when he whistles at the Leprechauns wives.

My guess is, that if Phillipe doesn’t shut up soon, He will be the one wishing he were on an overdose of Vitamin B.

Said by Ned !