DOOR KNOBS, REMOVABLE EYEBALLS & LOCKDOWN.

DOOR KNOBS,  REMOVABLE EYEBALLS & LOCKDOWN.

 

 

Last Wednesday a door knob came off of a cupboard in the laundry. Quite exiting really, during lockdown that’s kind of fun!

 

So I got new handles for 4 cupboards and installed them, professionally I might add. Then of course I had to paint the doors, because they are painted timber and the new handles caused new holes etc etc.

 

Then I had to paint the rest of the laundry, to match. But the laundry joins to the kitchen, I did the door frame…which meant I had to do the kitchen too. Of course the kitchen is joined to the lounge room, so that is also now nearly finished too, final coat to go on today. 

 

Of course the lounge links to both the bedroom down the other end and the dining room, where ‘She’ has taken up residence for about 12 hours per day, since ‘She’ is now working from home. 

 

So today I will start the bedroom…in the next few days I will have to paint ‘Her’ and the dining room too. 

 

Along the way I broke the blind in the kitchen, so I got Brian the Blind Man to come look at it  (that’s a paradox in itself) and now we need 3 blinds replaced to match. He gave us a price to do the outdoor awnings too, out the front. We will have to sell some grandchildren to pay for the outdoor awnings.  They cop a beating from the storms on the Bay. The awnings that is, not the grandchildren.  But before doing that, my builder friend said we should paint the roof, then paint the eaves etc around the house…and get the front rendered. Then the blinds. 

 

Yesterday, we went for a drive to Drysdale for some shopping and came back via St Leonards and Indented Head, which is technically illegal. That is life in Covid Lockdown in Victoria.  ‘Her’ new car hadn’t left the garage in a week, so even the car was excited. ‘She’ sat with her handbag perched on her lap the whole way, looking like she was ready to jump out at any time. This morning I have locked ‘Her’ back in the dining room / office,and won’t let her out until Friday. I should have the painting finished by then. 

 

This morning a mate is having an operation on the back of each of his eyes. They pull the eye out from the socket, operate and place it back under a local anaesthetic. Then the other one. The other eye that is, not another mate.  He has been so bored he is looking forward to the ‘outing’. He has asked the Doctor if he could turn an eyeball around enough that he can look at himself during the operation, a one off opportunity,  I guess. He sent me a text saying he won’t see me today but will keep an eye out tomorrow. 

This morning I spent 10 minutes deciding which side of my toast I should butter. I still think I got it wrong.  Most days I like to go park out the front of the Bottle Shop just to see who goes there every day. I keep a list. Unfortunately I am on top of it as the most regular. I guess that’s why we have to wear masks, to remind ourselves of our intake, via our own breath. And so they don’t recognise us when we go back to the bottle shop….3 times in a day.

 

Well, I hope you have enjoyed this riveting update from the land that time forgot. The moral of the story ( and there should be one ) is be kind to your door knobs, lest they lead to a full house renovation. And in these weird and wonderful times we are living through right now, keep an eye out for your mates.

 

Enjoy Lock-down in the Harbour Town. And keep a Handle on it.

 

Ned Hoskin                                            

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Housewives and Housework...1950's style!

Image
As a matter of research into my book about  fun Wedding Ceremonies ( which is titled How to Have Fun Getting Married , due to be released in 2 weeks) I have undertaken some extensive research into the Marriage game. Along the journey,  it reminded me of a book I purchased for Ms. SaidByNed when we first moved in together some 15 years ago. The book titled The Beginner Housewife by Phyllis Harker was first published in 1956. I just must share some of Phyllis' advice. Phyliss plans out a full day in 15 minute increments, beginning at 6.50am, going to bathroom, brushing hair, apply make-up. Between 7.30 am and 8 a.m Phyliss suggests any bride make up a list of the days work which should include at least the following: Wash up Make Beds Washing ( own undies , blouse etc!) Ironing Clean bath & basin Mop bathroom floor Stairs Bedroom Hall Mop and dust downstairs ( ! ) Vegetables Steak Trifle Kitchen 8.10am Wash Up. 8.20am Put washing to soak in plain ...
Read more

Nude Twister, Lies and Ghosts.

Image
Yesterday I had the good fortune to undertake my annual OPD ( On-going Professional Development) at The Gordon Institute in Geelong. This is a requirement for maintaining a licence to work as an Authorised Celebrant. I chose to partake in a 3 hour Elective on Ethics which turned out to be far more entertaing than one might imagine. The discussions covered all kinds of issues pertaining to modern day dilemmas faced by Marriage Celebrants, some issues which one would rarely encounter but are none the less important to know about. As a part of one excercise we were all required to make 3 statements about ourselves, 2 of which were to be true and one which is a lie. The object of the excercise is to see if we could lie convincingly to the group, who have to try to tell which of the 3 statements is a lie. Sadly, most of us passed that test with flying colours, the group mainly finding it difficult to pick up which statement was the lie. I wish we had more time to think about th...
Read more

The Tram Sandwich

Image
The Tram Sandwich I don’t often travel on a tram in Melbourne but on this day I was headed to St Kilda and decided to catch the 89. As it clattered its way toward my stop, I was feeling almost dizzy, overwhelmed by the exotic sights and sounds of Melbourne, the multicultural colours and sounds of the people in their array of international attire surrounding me at every turn. I climbed on board and quickly decided upon a seat near the front. Sitting down pensively I exchanged glances with the young couple sitting opposite. They seemed to be looking into me, wondering. I gave them a tiny smile before glancing down at my travelling companion, sitting on the seat beside me. ‘I wonder where he is going’ I stated out loud to the couple, tilting my head toward the companion on my right. They both burst into a rage of laughter, because, sitting squarely and neatly beside me on the seat was a perfectly wrapped sandwich, cut into quarters. ‘Do you think we should share it?’ I asked and ...
Read more