Said by Ned

I just LOVE being a Marriage Celebrant! Oh to be the King of Hearts, surrounded by Love and Good will, Swooned by Music and beautiful words, you never lose the thrill! Will you take this man to be, Your King and You , His Queen? To Love for a Thousand Years, and live in an eternal Dream? Will you take her heart and care for it, will she care for your heart too, Treated with Love and Dignity, It will last your whole Life through. I hope that I am your King of Hearts, As you are my Maiden Queen, You are the one I was looking for, You are my Mary Magdaleine! I want to travel to the stars and back, and never leave your side And laugh and live and love with you no matter how tough the ride I want to spend my treasured years and all my waking days Showing that my Love for you, works in a Thousand different ways. I Love to be the King of Hearts, I love to see them glow, The Couple as they stand and say " I love you forever, so..." 'I want to be your Robi...

BUDGET PRICED HAIR CUTS HIT PORTARLINGTON It has been reported here today that a new Cut-price Cutter has entered the market in Portarlington. In fact, this does add a new dimension to a 'Back-yarder' entering the scene. As you can see by the accompanying photograph, the business claims to have fewer overheads...in fact no over-heads for that matter. "Furniture is...well...minimalist" said the owner Big Mike, who asked that his surname not be used...since he cant spell it anyway!  When we arrived, a happy Customer, Kamil, seemed to be enjoying the experience. "I dont mind holding the mirror up while having my hair cut.......But holding it up for other clients is stretching it a bit " he said Big Mike explained that "Our shop design has been well thought out...the retail section is seen clearly in the back ground. It is somewhat understated and has that certain   Je ne sais pas"  he said. Certainly the new hair sa...

Paula's Dad, from Ireland has been here for his annual pilgrimmage. Whilst here I started to pen the words for a little song. It has turned out Australiana rather than Irish. Sang to the tune (of course) of Waltzing Matilda. Enjoy! ( I hope) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fq01PWhPyM&feature=youtu.be   Wee Irish Billy   (sung to Waltzing Matilda) Wee Irish Billy , came out from Ireland,   He flew over the land and the sea, 10,000 miles,   with a twinkle and smiles, He even flew, e-con-om-y. He came to see his Paula His fair maiden Daughter, In the Land that we all   know as Down Under, Where the heat and the thunder, and the wine makes us chunder, In Australia our thirst,   is so legendary. Wee Irish Billy came out from Ireland, He flew over the land and the sea, 10,000 miles,   with a twinkle and smiles,   He even flew, e-con-om-y. He drank all our beer,   so then he started on our ...

I don't know where they went, No idea why they suddenly left My good black shoes have left me bereft! For years they walked me up and down the bridal aisle, But now, well, my ( sole) can't raise a smile, Where did they go, oh why did they leave, Surely they couldn't be quite that peeved... The Left  was my favourite...although I sure miss the Right, I dream about them constantly, lost in the night, Perhaps walking a lonely road, in search of a sole mate, Always unsure, of their leathery fate! How devoted they seemed, such supportive of friends, But now I can't even try make amends Come home good shoes, let me polish you in black I'll wait up all night, if you'd only come back I promise to give you an over-haul if you like And even take you for a joy ride on my bike I promise to never take you for granted, or treat you a-miss If you come back today, I'll even give you a kiss Where did you go, oh, why did you walk? If only we could sit d...

We were talking about Walk-sox, for no apparent reason. In our house, we talk about all kinds of things including all kinds of people. However, walk-sox has never been a part of the banter, and to be honest, I don't remember how or why we got onto the subject. My first immediate vision was of a skinny legged older man, standing with his long sox held up by a 'garter', all nobbly kneed and purple veins looking like old road maps,  sploshy and purple and veiny, poking out the top of the said 'Walk-sox'. Until, I very quickly remembered a skinny legged young boy, also wearing them. That skinny legged boy was me, and in fact I will place a photograph in here to prove it. OK, so the photograph proves nothing other than skinny legs and shorts, in the format of a suit. I cant find the walk-sox photos yet, but I will. Being of the baby-boomer period myself, I was one of those kids who wasnt allowed to wear long pants until going to High School! Even our little grey S...

I know I write about my dreams a bit, I guess because I am fascinated by where they come from. This morning my first words to Ms. Ned were 'Tell me about the meaning of  "isthmus"...which I did of course already know to be a peninsula of land. It had all started with Ms. Ned and I and several friends standing on the top of a very tall 'A' frame Church. Yes, we were outside, standing on the very narrow , very top of the church. As if that wasn't odd enough, we were in fact, in the nude. As was the Reverend who was standing on a slightly lower platform at the front of the Church. As I looked down over the side of the church it was apparent that the roof was so steep that there was no way of getting down without severely injuring ones self. Being an 'A' frame, the roof ran right down to the ground on almost a cliff-face like angle. What I do remember is that our friend Geoffrey had a rope...a long rope, which may or not have some sublimal phallic ...

LISA’S TALE OF THE TOILETRY GAOL This is a tale, of sorrow and woe, The day that Lisa, got stuck in the poe, All alone in the office, at the end of the day Knowing no-one, would be coming this way. The handle fell off, on the outside of the door, Immediately she realised, the situation was poor No back-up to be had, if you’ll pardon the pun, Cos toiletry habits, are not something that’s fun. The others had gone, and as you do, She needed a visit to the ladies, the loo. No phone , no hand bag, no help within coo-ee And all she had wanted, was a last minute wee! What to do, what to do, no way to get out No one to hear, her pleas in a shout Oh what a thought,  oh what a plight Surely not trapped in the loo for the night The only idea. The window up high, Through which she had, a glimpse of the sky And with fortitude and cunning, and a small rubbish bin, She vowed to get out of this annoying lock-in. With feet on the bowl, not a ...