TV Stardom (eluded) and a Happy Tail (nearly)
Having, I am told, a pre-disposition to being attracted to bright lights, I sometimes reflect somewhat nostalgically upon my TV career. In fact I remember it well, the last time I was before the TV camera, the bright lights, the live audience and the nervous tension that flows through the veins just prior to a live performance.
And as we all know, it is sometimes these types of career changing experiences that lead us from one dark corner into a new, brighter light, a new career. Hence, as I reflect upon a career interspersed with various and somewhat irregular media appearances, I am amazed at how the flow of media exposure had littered my flowing career path.
Actually, I remember April 18, 1964 quite well. We had heard (by letter of course) only a few days before, that we were selected to attend a live Channel 9 TV audience, where some lucky people would be chosen, (one would expect, based upon their suitability for the role and their 'Star-status apparent'), and their otherwise obvious performance aptitude to appear live on one of the most cutting edge TV shows of its time.
Hence, when my name was called during the first 'break' *, I was immediately thrust into gear, adrenaline pumping and heart racing. I had never in my life tried Pin the Tail on the Donkey , but I was willing to learn , and even then, at the tender age of 8 years, I was prepared to jump in the deep end. In 1964 there were no woosie employment contracts, no Unions to look after you, no government watch-dog to keep tabs on your well being. No. It was just a straight forward dare to win attitude which thrust me into the depths of Pin the Tale on the Donkey.
It is really quite a shame that I actually pinned the tail fair on the donkeys nose, giving it a somewhat European flavour , which was pretty much unknown in Adelaide, South Australia, at the time anyway.
The Comperes of the show were Ian Fairweather & Glenys O'Brien , and to me they had really made it. So much so that I have kept the Certificate of Appearance on The Channel Niners Show, signed by them, all these years, just in case they end up famous, or in fact, if I do.
Fortunately they didn't record on The Certificate, that 'Neddy Numb-nuts' managed in his excitement to trip over a huge cable in the Studio ** , and there-in dropped his precious Tinker-Toy set all over the studio floor. All 100 pieces of it. A Tinker Toy set, was 100 pieces of timber bits that were supposed to fit together to make things. That is, if you have 100 pieces to start with.
Regrettably, it took the entire Show to run around in front of the bemused Live Audience , only during the advertisment breaks of course, to collect the pieces. Many of them being round, they rolled into every corner and under the seating of the audience.
I am not sure how many of the pieces I really found, but I do know I only got to the second floor of the Eiffel Tower, before I ran out of bits. Although I was lucky to invent a coffee table base in the process.
Obviously this experience has unsettled me, and just when I was learning to move on, the second great travesty of justice.
In a local newspaper, I was not only photographed, but named as being one of three Judges in the local Youth of the Year Awards.
What a shame they messed up the names underneath the photo, so that instead of being named as Ned Hoskin , TV Personality, I was mis-named ( Some-one Else) , Scout Master.
I am dissappointed by this in two ways. The first is that I had actually tried to strike up a conversation with the said Scout Master, with a focus on knot tying, which was something I was reasonable at when I was indeed a Troop Leader in Scouts in about 1970. Unfortunately he was not interested in my knot tying skills which is a shame, and seems such a waste of all those Years in Scouts. Maybe his disinterest was based on his premise that as a Boy Scout from South Australia , my knot-tying was out of date. Or maybe he had heard about the incident when I accidentally poisoned the entire Troop with my damper , whilst on camp one time.
The second reason for the disappointment is that I am being kept awake at night by the very sad but real prospect that He may well be pounced upon by the media in their relentless search for Me. Surely after such a sterling performance in 1964 the Media Hounds will still be out there, searching relentlessly for the true Ned Hoskin, Pin the Tail on the Donkey's Nose aficionado.
Just as I had searched relentlessly all those years ago for the 100 pieces of Tinker Toy. ***
Of course, in Googling the history of Channel Nine in South Australia, I have turned up no reference to that iconic appearance on April 18, 1964. Only compounding to the tradgedy of the hapless events on that date, and furthermore, making the more recent, shocking error in the local newspaper with their tragic naming debacle, only so much more stressful.
Oh, the stress of it all. Maybe I should just search for the dull lights, after-all.
Ned Hoskin
www.wedbyned.com.au
And as we all know, it is sometimes these types of career changing experiences that lead us from one dark corner into a new, brighter light, a new career. Hence, as I reflect upon a career interspersed with various and somewhat irregular media appearances, I am amazed at how the flow of media exposure had littered my flowing career path.
Actually, I remember April 18, 1964 quite well. We had heard (by letter of course) only a few days before, that we were selected to attend a live Channel 9 TV audience, where some lucky people would be chosen, (one would expect, based upon their suitability for the role and their 'Star-status apparent'), and their otherwise obvious performance aptitude to appear live on one of the most cutting edge TV shows of its time.
Hence, when my name was called during the first 'break' *, I was immediately thrust into gear, adrenaline pumping and heart racing. I had never in my life tried Pin the Tail on the Donkey , but I was willing to learn , and even then, at the tender age of 8 years, I was prepared to jump in the deep end. In 1964 there were no woosie employment contracts, no Unions to look after you, no government watch-dog to keep tabs on your well being. No. It was just a straight forward dare to win attitude which thrust me into the depths of Pin the Tale on the Donkey.It is really quite a shame that I actually pinned the tail fair on the donkeys nose, giving it a somewhat European flavour , which was pretty much unknown in Adelaide, South Australia, at the time anyway.
The Comperes of the show were Ian Fairweather & Glenys O'Brien , and to me they had really made it. So much so that I have kept the Certificate of Appearance on The Channel Niners Show, signed by them, all these years, just in case they end up famous, or in fact, if I do.
Fortunately they didn't record on The Certificate, that 'Neddy Numb-nuts' managed in his excitement to trip over a huge cable in the Studio ** , and there-in dropped his precious Tinker-Toy set all over the studio floor. All 100 pieces of it. A Tinker Toy set, was 100 pieces of timber bits that were supposed to fit together to make things. That is, if you have 100 pieces to start with.
Regrettably, it took the entire Show to run around in front of the bemused Live Audience , only during the advertisment breaks of course, to collect the pieces. Many of them being round, they rolled into every corner and under the seating of the audience.I am not sure how many of the pieces I really found, but I do know I only got to the second floor of the Eiffel Tower, before I ran out of bits. Although I was lucky to invent a coffee table base in the process.
Obviously this experience has unsettled me, and just when I was learning to move on, the second great travesty of justice.
In a local newspaper, I was not only photographed, but named as being one of three Judges in the local Youth of the Year Awards.
What a shame they messed up the names underneath the photo, so that instead of being named as Ned Hoskin , TV Personality, I was mis-named ( Some-one Else) , Scout Master.
I am dissappointed by this in two ways. The first is that I had actually tried to strike up a conversation with the said Scout Master, with a focus on knot tying, which was something I was reasonable at when I was indeed a Troop Leader in Scouts in about 1970. Unfortunately he was not interested in my knot tying skills which is a shame, and seems such a waste of all those Years in Scouts. Maybe his disinterest was based on his premise that as a Boy Scout from South Australia , my knot-tying was out of date. Or maybe he had heard about the incident when I accidentally poisoned the entire Troop with my damper , whilst on camp one time.
The second reason for the disappointment is that I am being kept awake at night by the very sad but real prospect that He may well be pounced upon by the media in their relentless search for Me. Surely after such a sterling performance in 1964 the Media Hounds will still be out there, searching relentlessly for the true Ned Hoskin, Pin the Tail on the Donkey's Nose aficionado.Just as I had searched relentlessly all those years ago for the 100 pieces of Tinker Toy. ***
Of course, in Googling the history of Channel Nine in South Australia, I have turned up no reference to that iconic appearance on April 18, 1964. Only compounding to the tradgedy of the hapless events on that date, and furthermore, making the more recent, shocking error in the local newspaper with their tragic naming debacle, only so much more stressful.
Oh, the stress of it all. Maybe I should just search for the dull lights, after-all.
* To use a media term
** To use another media term.
*** I only ever found 87 pieces.
p.s I did Google for photo's of Ian Fairweather but I kept coming up with weather reports.
p.p.s I did Google for photo's of Glenys O'Brien but didnt recognise any of the ones who came up.
p.p.p.s They didn't have Google in Adelaide back then. Maybe they still don't??
p.s I did Google for photo's of Ian Fairweather but I kept coming up with weather reports.
p.p.s I did Google for photo's of Glenys O'Brien but didnt recognise any of the ones who came up.
p.p.p.s They didn't have Google in Adelaide back then. Maybe they still don't??
Ned Hoskin
www.wedbyned.com.au
'The Many Ponderings & Predilections of Ned from Indented Head' is on Amazon Books:
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